


Worry In Progress

by prince_of_kuthia



Series: Prince of Darkness [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Dads of Marmora (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Kinda, Let him live, idk yet, mentions of cannibalism, might change this work away from gen, no really guys in this context age regression means something a lil different, sfw age regression, surprise he isnt dead lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-06-07 06:45:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15213461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_of_kuthia/pseuds/prince_of_kuthia
Summary: They can't afford not to worry about him anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there used to be something else at the beginning of this chapter.... ;) guess you'll have to wait and see if i add it in later.

Inhale. Exhale.

The inexplicable pressure of life weighed down my chest. Muffled voices reached my ears - an argument?

“-ack to the Blade of Marmora!” a familiarly high-pitched voice cried out. Strong arms held me to a cold, firm body tightly, my arms draped across tense shoulders. “He needs to recover and he won’t be able to do that here where his involvement could literally be life or death!”

“I forbid you from leaving!” a feminine, angry voice shouted. I would have jumped, but my body was just so heavy… “This is my Castle and the safest place for him to be!”

A deep, rumbling growl came from the person holding me, whose name was on the tip of my tongue but just out of reach. “It’s not safe,” they snarled. “Your Castle could be attacked at any moment. The Blade’s base cannot.”

“We’re your friends!” the feminine voice spoke again. This time, instead of a tone of authority, it held something of a plea. “We’d never let him get hurt, even if the Castle was attacked. If he stays here, then he’ll have access to the healing pods.”

“It doesn’t matter if we’re friends,” they sneered, their arms tightening around me. “My loyalty is to my prince and my prince alone. If it’s the difference between his safety and your happiness… I’d  _ devour you all with no regret.”  _ They turned away from the other voice, a horrified aura filling the room. “Remember,” they said, some sort of threat hanging in their voice, “that it was  _ your _ mission that did this to him. It’s  _ his _ heart that keeps you alive at this very moment. If I had my way…” Hands gripped my shirt tightly, shaking slightly. “...let’s just say that you’re all very lucky to be alive.”

The person carried me away from the other voice and its aura in long strides that made no noise. They murmured to me, quiet words that I only half-understood but recognized nonetheless. They came to stop in a room that hummed with energy, but I was just  _ so tired… _ Consciousness began to slip away from me, though I struggled to hold onto it just a little longer.

A deeply tired, gruff voice sounded from somewhere in front of me, though the person carrying me was alone save for me. The voice began to speak, and then turned alert in an instant. I heard only one last sentence as I lost the struggle to stay awake.

_ “What happened to him?!” _


	2. Chapter 2

**_...You hate me, don’t you?_ **

_ I don’t. _

**_No… I feel it… All of your emotions, all of your thoughts… They’re flowing through me now too. I… I hate it._ **

_... _

**_How can you deal with this?! I-I’ve been without a heart for long, I… I forgot… I_ ** **_can’t…_ ** **_Now we’re stuck like this for who knows how long. All for a stupid reason… I can’t even RELOAD, because I know you’ll just do this again… Idiot… I’m such an idiot. You must think I’m the worst kind of person imaginable._ **

_ I don’t feel that way. ...I don’t feel anything at all. _

**_Stay back!_ **

_ Aw, come on. You know I wouldn’t hurt you.  _

**_Y-yes you will! We’re two halves of the same person. I know everything that you do! You… you want revenge… don’t you? Of course you do…_ **

_ … _

**_You know everything that I’ve done. All the RESETs. Every time I’ve hurt one of your friends. I manipulated you… I_ ** **_tortured_ ** **_you! ...Haha. You’re right. I… I deserve whatever you do to me._ **

_ … _

**_Huh? What… what are you doing?_ **

_ You asked me, once, if I ever wondered what it would be like to feel nothing. Well… now I know. And because I know… I understand what you’ve done. No doubt what you did in the past was inexcusable… but you regret it. So I can forgive you… Empty. _

**_…!_ **

_ It’ll be hard. We’ll make mistakes. But we’ll figure it out together. You can trust me. _

**_...Thank you…. Full. ...We really took a lot of damage, didn’t we?_ **

_ Yeah. Yeah, we did.  _

**_We’ll have to wake up eventually and deal with it, you know._ **

_ I know. But not yet. _

**_Always procrastinating, aren’t you?_ **

_ Hah. Yeah, I guess so. _

 

* * *

 

 

Slowly, painfully, I woke up.

My ribs ached deep into the bones, and the skin burnt and itched. Breathing took energy that I wasn’t sure I had. I rasped out a groan and turned my head to the side, my eyes opening blearily.

“Cobalt!” the person sitting next to me sighed, relief in his voice. Fluffy, off-white, shoulder-length hair was ruffled, like he hadn’t bothered brushing it, and greyish-white skin covered his face and neck before abruptly turning to a glittering ebony black towards the chest. His eyes filled with tears, yellow irises reflecting light that came from the ceiling. “You’re finally awake…!”

Why was Sugar acting like he hadn’t seen me in years?

“Sugar…?” I struggled to sit up, hissing as my ribs creaked. “Where…?”

Sugar rested one glittering ebony hand on my back and supported my weight, leaning me against the headrest of the bed with pillows to cushion me. “I took you back to the Blade’s base,” he explained softly. “You… do you remember what happened?”

_ Remember _ what happened? I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, but the memories hit me first.

A giant, bleeding gash that stretched from my right shoulder to my left hip. Losing all HP from one hit. Telling Keith to go. Sugar’s terrified face. Blood pooling at my feet. The Galra soldier. Moxie’s inability to heal the wound. Taking blow after blow and refusing to give up…

“Yeah,” I breathed, holding my head with my right hand. “Yeah… I remember now. Did you really have to haul me all the way to the Blade to help me?” I tried to joke, tried for a smile, but dropped it when Sugar didn’t smile back.

“I brought you back to the Castle and we had to put you in a healing pod,” my best friend explained. “But even after it released you… you wouldn’t wake up. You were breathing, you were alive, but you remained asleep. So I brought you back here, to recover in peace.” Sugar’s hands gripped the blanket over me tightly before letting go, like he was afraid of hurting me. “You were asleep for a while. The pod healed you in maybe 3 quintants and let you out, but… it’s been 16 quintants since then.”

“So I was unconscious for  _ 19 days?” _ I whispered, incredulous. How could I have possibly been out that long after being fully healed? My heart felt perfectly fine, beating maybe just a little unsteadily which was perfectly normal considering I'd pretty much come back from death without RELOADing.

Sugar made a so-so gesture with his hand. “From what I can tell, a quintant is little shorter than a day but roughly, yes.” He grimaced and looked away from me, clenching his fists in his pants. A little belatedly, I realized that his shoulders were shaking. I reached out a hand hesitantly, resting it on his left shoulder. He knew what I was asking, even without tapping into our fragile connection. “I just… You’ve  _ never _ been out that long. Not even when you Dropped into Sora’s and Riku’s Mark of Mastery exams. I…” He sniffled and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his right hand. “I thought you would never wake up, Cobalt.”

I flinched, my hand jerking back from his shoulder, the phantom pain of fire on my own left shoulder. I gripped my shoulder tightly, trying to smother flames that hadn’t been real for 16 years.

“You…” I gagged on my own words, swallowing harshly and deciding on a different question. “Why wouldn’t I have woken up, Sug’?”

“Why wouldn’t you-” Sugar barked out a rough laugh, the sound choked with disbelief. “Cobalt, you’ve been trying to wake up every two quintants. This is the only time you’ve been able to keep your eyes open for longer than a couple ticks, let alone hold a coherent conversation.”

Frowning, I moved my right hand from my left shoulder to my sternum, pushing lightly on it. After a second of resistance, my hand dipped through my clothes and skin and bones to grasp at my heart. It fluttered into my fingers, pressing against my palm and dragging rough edges across the skin.

That wasn’t right  _ at all. _

“Wait, Cobalt-!” But Sugar’s warning was too late.

I pulled it out and choked on my own breath at the sight of it. It was  _ supposed _ to be a perfectly white, smooth sphere. Instead, jagged cracks covered it. The light that shone from it was dull and faint instead of brilliant and soft. I wasn’t able to take it in much, because only a second passed before my heart trembled and broke apart. I choked on my breath again as, almost immediately, my body shut down. Sugar shrieked. Then I died.

Two trembling icons appeared before me, CONTINUE and LOAD SAVE.  _ Trembling? _ Moxie was  _ made _ of energy; why would it be trembling? The icons began to crack. Before they could disappear and before I could think about it, I pressed LOAD SAVE.

I jolted up, panting in fear, laying in bed. Sugar, sitting beside me, had his hands clasped over his mouth with tears in his eyes. The room was a blank, soothing purple and Sugar had not reverted back to his Galran disguise. When had I SAVEd at the base?

“Sorry,” my best friend whispered, hands shaking. “I didn’t think you would try to release it or I would have told you sooner…”

“How?” I asked, voice hoarse, staring as well as I could at my chest. “How did my heart get so damaged…?”

“I don’t know,” Sugar responded, moving to drape himself across my back. He pressed me between his legs and, ever so carefully, wrapped his arms around me. “Pidge and I came up with some theories, though.”

“How does Pidge know?” I asked, wrinkling my nose and curling my lip.

“I had to check your heart, and Pidge happened to be there when I did it,” Sugar explained, his voice cracking in nervousness. “If it’s any consolation, no one else knows.”

“Hm.” It  _ was _ some consolation. I knew I could trust Pidge not to tell. “Tell me them. The theories.” I grabbed Sugar’s left hand and played with his fingers, ignoring the faint sensation across my own left hand.

Sugar’s relief was palpable. “Well, let’s go from most to least likely.” He shifted to get more comfortable, leaning back against the headboard and bringing me with him. “The first theory is that you were so close to death that your heart was already in the process of dying before we managed to get you into a pod. Since the pod isn’t familiar with healing hearts, it couldn’t do anything. It also explains why you remained comatose for so long.”

I hummed affirmatively, letting him know that I was listening despite playing with his hands.

“The second theory is that that first hit you took caused your heart to crack. You  _ did _ take a heavy hit at 0 DEFENSE, after all. Since you’ve never had that happen, we can’t say that this theory is false. Your comatose state was caused by forcing yourself to stay conscious for so long after the initial hit instead of just RELOADing.” Sugar moved his fingers, letting me play with the false tendons.

He paused to let me respond, but when I didn’t he kept speaking.

“The third is that you somehow managed to use up almost all of your Moxie reserves, which all hearts rely on. The amount that you were left with would be enough for any normal human to survive with, but your heart is so used to having a lot of Moxie that it didn’t know  _ how _ to survive with so little Moxie. As a result, it began to break apart. This theory says that you went comatose because Moxie needed to build up your reserves again, but we both agreed that it was a little too strange.” 

We sat in silence for a bit as I took it everything and formed my own theory, continuing to play with his hands as he hummed a song.

“I think it’s a mix of all three,” I finally said. “That first hit caused my heart to crack and I used up almost all of Moxie’s energy staying conscious. Since the pod couldn’t heal my heart, I stayed comatose even though my body was healed.”

“That does make sense,” Sugar said, using his right hand to pet my hair. “But I don’t think we’ll ever really get an answer.”

I didn’t respond.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha whoops i forgot to keep writing but uuuhhhhhh yeah have fun

“Cobalt,” Ulaz greeted me warmly, sweeping me into a hug. “It’s good to see you’ve finally awoken. We were rather worried when Sugar called to insist that Kolivan come retrieve the two of you from the Castle as quickly as could be achieved.” He set me back down onto the bed and sat himself in the chair that Sugar hadn’t touched ever since I’d woken up.

“It’s good to see you too, Ulaz,” I said, tapping my fingers together. “While I don’t agree with what Sugar did,” and there I sneaked a glance behind me to see Sugar smiling sheepishly, “it did boost my recovery.”

Ulaz pulled out what could only be described as a stethoscope, except it plugged into a small handheld scanner instead of going into the doctor’s ears. “He only wanted to make sure you would be safe,” the Galra hummed, pressing the metal bit against my chest. “We’re just going to measure your heart rate now. Do you know what the normal rate for you is?”

“97 beats per minute,” I answered immediately. “Uh, I guess for you, that’d be 97 beats per… dobash…?”

“A dobash is roughly 9 seconds shorter than a minute,” Sugar said, rubbing my shoulders. “So his heart rate should be between 82 and 83. Lower than 82 and higher than 83 are problems.” 

“Look at you, knowing the conversions,” I joked, trying not to shiver as the metal bit pulsed gamma waves through my chest.

Ulaz removed the bit and nodded approvingly at the scanner. “82.45 beats per dobash,” he said. “Your heart rate is normal. Tilt your head up for me?” I tilted my head up towards the ceiling. “Don’t blink. I need to check your eyes and make sure that there’s no damage.” 

“Why my eyes?” I snorted, doing my best to look at Ulaz.

“Your spinal cord got a little bit severed,” Sugar helpfully supplied.

“Oh.”

The light was bright as fuck. It took all of my willpower (and some of Sugar’s) not to blink. When the light was finally removed, I dropped my head down and rubbed my eyes.

“So? What’d you find?” I asked, after there’d been no hum from Ulaz.

“Ah, well,” Ulaz started, his hands trembling, “your eyes, well… The left one is perfectly fine, but the right…”

I sighed and crossed my arms. “Yes, I know.” Ulaz jumped, startled at my tone. “That eye has been gone for a long time. The one I have now is made of Darkness; I’m guessing the light went straight through it and showed you all of the torn-up nerves?”

“You can still see out of that eye?” he asked, solid yellow eyes wide with alarm. But I could see his fingers twitching; his scientific curiosity was still there underneath the paternal worry. “Even with all of that damage?”

“Yes. The Darkness connects directly to those nerves and stimulates them, creating the illusion that those nerves are undamaged to my brain. My brain then accepts the Darkness as my actual eye, relying on it the same way it relies on my left.” I reached out my right hand, grabbing for Ulaz’s hand. When he put his palm in mine, I pulled him closer and put his palm over my left eye. “I can still see you, though the vision is somewhat altered.”

“How so?” Ulaz’s scientific mindset began to take over, interested in the new information. “What’s different?”

“The colors are distorted and everything is somewhat brighter,” I shrugged, letting go of Ulaz’s hand. My vision blurred and returned to normal as the Darkness adapted to the vision of my left eye. “So you don’t need to worry about my vision.”

“I- yes, alright.” Ulaz rummaged through his bag, looking for some other weird alien doctor thing. Sugar moved his hands from my shoulders to my sides, pressing lightly upon my ribcage. The bones creaked in protest but bent nonetheless.

“Did you know that a human ribcage isn’t actually solid bone?” I said aloud to Ulaz as he stood back up. “Our lungs, when full of air, are too big for our bodies. The ribcage is made of joints so that our chests can expand to make room.”

“Interesting,” Ulaz chuffed. He took a look in my ears and used some sort of weird space q-tip to press the nerves close to my eardrum. When I flinched, he removed the q-tip. “Well, you don’t seem to have suffered any nerve damage. Of course, I’m sure the healing pod at the Castle fixed that…”

Suddenly, it clicked.

“I really was close to death, wasn’t I?” I murmured, rubbing my sternum absently.

“Yeah.” Sugar wrapped his arms around me. “Yeah, you were.”

 

* * *

 

It quickly became apparent that something was wrong with me.

I couldn’t remember anyone except for Sugar and Ulaz, and the name 'Pidge’. It confused everyone on the base, especially the leader of it. No one could understand why I didn’t know people that I should know.

“Kolivan, I really don’t know these people,” I said. “I don’t even know  _ your _ name.”

“You-” He scowled, crossing his arms across his chest. “You  _ just _ said my name, little one.”

“Did I?” I tapped my cheek thoughtfully. “That’s strange, since I don’t know it.”

He sighed in aggravation and thumped down into his chair, head in his hands. “It is very strange,” he sighed. “You say the names of those you have met, and then cannot remember that you said them.”

“I suppose it must be strange to you,” I consoled him, patting his arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll sort it out eventually, Kolivan. And then I’ll be able to remember your name.”

The Blade leader sighed again. “We will contact the Paladins of Voltron,” he finally said. “They were the last ones to be around you before this happened. Perhaps they will have some insight on how to fix it.”

“Maybe,” I agreed optimistically. “Sugar won’t like it, though.”

“Irrelevant.” Kolivan stood and picked me up without a thought, and I in turn grabbed onto his neck to keep steady as his brisk gait took us to the communication center in a matter of minutes.

I really wished I could remember his name. He seemed like such a nice person, even if he was a bit stern. 

Kolivan entered a somewhat small, dark room with a giant holo-screen connected to the wall. He settled down in what amounted to basically a giant spinny chair and pressed a button, holding it down until a video popped up.

_ “Kolivan?” _ A dark-skinned, feminine figure stood in the center of the video call, staring in confusion.  _ “Why have you called?”  _ Her blue eyes landed on me and she perked up almost guiltily, forcing a smile.  _ “Oh, hello, Cobalt! It’s marvelous to see that you've awoken.” _

“Hi, Princess Allura,” I greeted. “Sorry, but I don’t think we’ve met before. Could you tell me your name, since you know mine?”

Before she could answer, the Galra holding me cut in. “This is why I have called,” he said grimly. “Cobalt cannot remember the name of anyone he speaks to, even if he has just said it. As you and your Paladins were the last to have him, I was hoping you may have some insight on how to fix this… issue.”

_ “I’ll call the Paladins,” _ she said, frowning.  _ “They may have some ideas.” _

The Paladins came quickly when she called for them over what must have been an intercom, saying names that left my mind as soon as I heard them. 

_ “The pods never did that to any of us, in all the times we've been in there,” _ the smallest Paladin said. Her hair was a frizzy mess of orange-brown that stuck up in the back like she’d never bothered to brush it.  _ “Why would it do that to you?” _

The Paladins began to discuss amongst each other, and I was perfectly content to sit there and wait. Ever since I’d realized that something was wrong, I had continuously found myself placated and calm in situations where I could remember becoming annoyed. I could  _ remember _ being annoyed when people would talk about me, but now I only felt a strange sense of tranquility. Moxie brushed against my consciousness, pressing deep into my heart, wriggling into my core. 

Then, the yellow Paladin said something, and a piece of memory made sense.

“Ohh,” I laughed, leaning up to touch the holo-screen. “You're Pidge! I knew your name but not you. That's strange, isn't it?”

_ “You knew my name?” _ she asked incredulously.  _ “How?” _

“Mm, I think Sugar said it when I first woke up…” I tapped my cheek with my right index finger. “Yeah, I'm pretty sure he did. Something about you being in the room when he was checking on my heart?”

Pidge’s eyes widened and she piped up,  _ “Okay, that makes very little sense but let's pretend it makes a lot of sense. And you don't know anyone else here?” _

“No, I don't think so. I don't know their names in any case.” I squinted at the humans gathered there, and the Alteans. “No, definitely not.” The humans sagged, except for the dark-skinned, handsome boy whose name escaped me. While Pidge began typing furiously at her laptop and the Paladins began talking worriedly amongst themselves, Lance approached the holo-screen.

_ “So, how's Moxie?” _ he asked casually. I perked up at the familiar name.

“Moxie's doing okay!” Kolivan lifted me off of his lap and placed me in the chair that was way too big for me, saying that he was going to contact Sugar. “Er, well…” Biting my lip, I watched as Kolivan left the room and lowered my voice to a guilty whisper. “Actually, it’s not doing much better than I am, I think.”

_ “How so?”  _ he asked smoothly, blue eyes starkly contrasted against his tanned skin. His face was so entirely like an open book that I couldn't find myself able to be suspicious, even as Moxie needled at my heart.

“I had to RELOAD almost as soon as I woke up,” I explained hurriedly, “and it was trembling. It's never done that before.”

He smiled then and turned to his friends.  _ “Guys, I think I just figured out what happened.” _

_ “What do you mean?” _ Pidge asked, looking up from her laptop.  _ “How did those questions help at all?” _

_ “Remember when we first tried to put Cobalt in a pod? Sugar said that Moxie wouldn't like it.”  _ Lance looked almost smug and I had to stifle a giggle.

_ “So…?”  _ the Red Paladin snorted, his hair looking kind of unbrushed.  _ “What's the relevance of that?” _

_ “Oohhh, I think I get it!” _ Hunk clapped his hands together excitedly.  _ “Moxie said that it preferred to do Cobalt’s healing itself. So maybe the pod messed it up!” _

_ “I don't think that explains Cobalt’s memory problems,”  _ the Black Paladin pointed out, though he did look intrigued.

_ “Actually, it does,”  _ the Blue Paladin said triumphantly.  _ “Pidge said it herself earlier. That hasn't happened to any of us. Why? Oh, I dunno, maybe because  _ we _ don't have Moxie, who has said to not like the pods because the energy in them is too close to what it’s made of!” _

“You have Moxie,” I said confusedly. “Every living being does. Moxie is the name of the energy that every being needs to survive. I just have a lot, because Moxie the entity lives in my heart.’

_ “Same logic still applies, I suppose,”  _ the Altean princess said. Her hair was braided. Huh.  _ “None of us have Moxie the entity.” _

The door to the holo-room opened then and we all jumped. I turned to see Sugar striding over, with a strange look of disdain on his face when he looked at the holo-screen.

“Cobalt, I need you to wait outside, okay? I need to speak with the Paladins.” There was something in his eyes that had me staying in the chair.

“I wanna be here too!” I pouted, crossing my arms. It wouldn't actually stop him from moving me, but it helped get my point across.

“Cobalt…” Sugar sighed, reaching out to pick me up.

“No! Why can't I be here if you're only gonna talk to them?” I glared at him accusingly, insistent on staying. The Paladins were silent, watching our argument. Their apprehension was almost tangible through the call.

Sugar growled, and then reigned himself in. “You're not gonna like what I have to say,” he told me. “I've said this to you before. You hate hearing it every time.”

“Oh.” I glanced down at my hands, then back up at him. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” He scooted me off of the chair. “Ulaz is waiting outside,” he said lightly. “Maybe if you ask nicely he'll carry you around with him to the medical bay.”

I studied Sugar's face, leaning back when I was satisfied. I waved at the Paladins and said my goodbyes, leaving the room. As the door closed behind me, I was pretty sure I caught the start of his sentence.

“Age regression”.


	4. Chapter 4

Tiny hands patted at the table.

“Want!” I demanded, standing on Sugar's foot and my tip toes to even reach the table. “Want it!”

“You don't like this!” Sugar laughed, leaning down to give me a piece anyway. “It's spicy!”

“Want it!” I insisted. 

“Alright, then, here you go.” He held the fork down for me in one ebony hand, holding the other underneath my chin to catch anything that fell, being messier than the average five-year-old. I took the bite, eating it rather happily. Until the spicy hit me.

I stood there, a little confused for a moment, before my eyes began to water. “Sugah, hewp?” I whined.

He burst out laughing.

 

* * *

 

When I awoke in a strange place, I was immediately afraid. It was dark, and the darkness felt like it was dripping over me. Whimpering, I stepped backwards.

The dark disappeared, torn away with a flash of white. I had to close my eyes against the brightness of it all, covering them with hands that felt both familiar and unfamiliar. Petals of light brushed my arms as the glow died down, leaving behind a perfectly circular platform with a strange drawing. The yellow outline of someone I felt I should know and the dark silhouettes of two people I couldn't remember laid beneath socked feet.

**_So much to do, so little time…_ ** The voice was strikingly familiar, too familiar for me to understand. I looked around to find the source of the voice, but found no one.  **_Take your time. Don't be afraid._ **

_ Take a step forward, _ another voice said, sounding just different enough that I could tell that there  _ was _ another voice.  _ Then another. Can you do it? _

Trembling but determined, I nodded and took a step forward. Then another. And another, until I stood in the center.

**_You've done it,_ ** the first voice spoke again.  **_Keep going. You're doing well._ **

_ Go up the staircase, _ the second voice urged. 

With a flash, said staircase appeared. I heaved myself up it, finding that the gaps between each floating step were too big. But as I struggled, the stairs shifts and helped me. When, panting lightly, I made my way to the center of the next platform, I found myself looking at three pedestals.

**_You are filled with power,_ ** the first voice told me.  **_If you give it form, it will give you strength. You have given your power form. Now you must make a choice_ **

_ You were hurt very badly, _ the second voice told me.  _ We've done what we could, but now you must make a choice. _

**_What will you give up in exchange?_ **

Holding my hands close to.my chest, I began my hesitant walk towards the first pedestal. The platform beneath me had just one figure- someone with dark blue hair and cold blue eyes with black instead of white, pale skin marred with scars, a black stripe beneath each eye, and bat-like wings extended to form a menacing appearance.

The figure looked like me.

I touched the first pedestal that I had reached, the one that had been directly in front of me. It looked like a perfectly normal picture frame, except the people in the picture were blacked out and I couldn't tell who they were.

_ The memories of people who you've met and people who you hope to meet again. Is this what you'll give up? _

I set the frame down gently and went to the pedestal now on my left. It was another picture frame that I picked up, this time with a picture of someone I could recognize. Sugar! But the background was black.

**_The memories of places you've seen and places you hope to see again. Is this what you'll give up?_ **

I set the frame down and went to the last one. Another picture frame. I picked it up and was met with a picture of myself.

**_The memories of what you've done, what you've learned. Personal memories. Is this what you'll give up?_ **

I put it down and backed away, back to the center of the room. Memories of people, memories of places, memories of myself. One tiny, chubby hand fisted itself into my hair and pulled lightly.

“I…” I shook my head, my bottom lip trembling. “I can't…”

**_Take your time,_ ** the voices said.  **_Don't be afraid. Think about your choices, and then come back to decide. You have all the time in the world._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see i have never lied ever in my whole life


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!! I haven't been writing a lot recently...

Sugar combed his fingers through my hair, making that deep crooning sound that always made me feel safe. His nose rubbed against the back of my ear and I giggled, leaning away.

“Tickles!” I put my hands on his head and pushed. He let me do it, laughing as his cheeks squished.

“Alright, alright,” he said, grabbing my wrists and gently moving my hands away. “You're excited today. Happy to see the Paladins?”

“Payadins!” I smacked my hands against Sugar's legs, only stopping when he made a noise of pain and held my wrists again. “Wanna see payadins!”

“They'll be here soon,” he said, doing his best to keep me seated on his lap. He looked up when someone else entered the room. “Hello, Kolivan.”

“Greetings, Sugar,” he returned, glancing down at me. “Cobalt.”

“Hi!” I waved at him in delight. He hesitantly waved back.

“Was there something you needed?” Sugar asked, tightening his hold on me.

Kolivan held up a hand and shook his head. “No, no. I merely wished to thank you for your understanding of this situation.”

“Oh.” He relaxed. “Well, you said it yourself. Children are too fragile to be kept on base.”

Kolivan nodded, his mask hiding his reaction. “Especially ones as…  _ rambunctious _ as he is.”

“Let’s just be glad he only climbed the electricity net one time,” Sugar sighed.

“Agreed.”

Another person entered, taller than Kolivan. He had a tail!

“The Paladins have arrived,” he told Sugar. “It is time to go.”

Sugar stood, still holding me. I whined and struggled, but he didn't let go. “Thank you, Antok,” he said, using his free arm to do some weird hand thing. The two crossed forearms with closed fists, nodding respectfully to each other. The tail came up to brush my cheek, ceasing my struggling as I tried to grab it. Then Sugar was moving, Antok and Kolivan not coming with.

I whined. Why weren't they coming with?

“Hello, Paladins,” Sugar said smoothly, pushing open a huge, heavy door. My struggling was renewed; new people were always scary, even though I wanted to go  meet them.

“Sugar!” the blue-armored person called. “How've you been?”

One by one, greetings were called and questions were answered. Somehow, I migrated from Sugar's arms to the paladin named Lance’s arms. He was the blue one who'd first spoken to Sugar. His skin was darker than mine and his hair was shorter. He let me grab his hair, but if I tugged he would remove my hands.

“And how are  _ you, _ little Princey?” he asked, his arms sure and firm underneath and behind me. “Excited to spend time in the Castle?”

“Mhm!” I perked up at the word 'Castle’ and began grabbing at the armor, since I couldn't tug on Lance's hair.

“That's good to hear,” he said, bouncing me up higher as he adjusted his arms. “We're going to be leaving soon, in the Red Lion.” He pointed to the big lion-ship, waiting patiently. Her (because the ship was definitely sentient and definitely a her) energy was chaotic and fiery, and it washed over me like a blanket. “Do you want Sugar to hold you on the way back to the Castle? We can't switch mid-flight.”

“Mhm,” I decided.

“Okay,” Lance said, smiling. I smiled back happily. “Then I'll give you back to Sugar now.”

It was very sudden; Lance turned me around and there was Sugar, taking me from the blue paladin. Chewing on the soft, silky white hair, I watched Lance's happy face turn to the green paladin and begin speaking animatedly. Too far away to hear, I turned my attention to other people. But there was something wrong with Sugar. There was a sharply unpleasant feeling  coming from deep within him, a disgust for the Paladins that came from something I didn't fully comprehend- a lot of red, unbridled panic, and then a bitter anger. 

I patted his face for attention, my skin a warm color against his greyish skin.

“Hm?” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, holding me just the smallest bit tighter like I'd fall if he didn't. I keened, the sound coming from my chest like a purr, voice low so as not to alert anyone else. “Oh, Cobalt,” he murmured, “even like this you know what I'm feeling, don't you? It's okay. It'll… it'll be resolved soon.”

Unhappily, I conceded the 'argument’ as Sugar began to enter the Red Lion. She wrapped her energy around me, rumbling assurances and chasing away the cold of the base. The red paladin was already there in the pilot’s seat, and he waved awkwardly to me and Sugar.

“I need to talk to Allura,” Sugar said abruptly. “Will you watch Cobalt?”

“Uh, sure…?” the paladin agreed hesitantly.

“Thank you, Keith.” And then suddenly I was on the ground and Sugar was gone. I chirped questioningly, wondering why he hadn't taken me too, but my attention was easily snagged by the Red Lion. 

Cooing a little bit, I stood up and tottered for Keith. He reached a hand out to support me, obviously unaware that I was able to walk decently well. I grabbed his hand anyway and used it as leverage to climb up onto his lap. It was uncomfortable because of the armor, but he only seemed shocked.

“Ohhhkay,” Keith muttered. “Hi, Cobalt.”

“Ai,” I responded, my attention on the controls. I made a grabby motion and sent my pleading through to the Lion.

“Oh, uh- oof!” The chair moved up suddenly, putting the controls within my reach. “Red, what are you doing?” he asked irritably.

I laughed in delight and rested my hands on the buttons. The Red Lion gently deterred me from pressing any of them, instead urging me to grab her control sticks. I did so with gusto, wrapping my tiny hands around the sticks.

“Hey, whoa!” Keith put his hands near mine but paused, like he wasn't sure what to do. “Uh, Red?”

The Lion purred reassuringly to him before turning her attention back to me. Through the link she'd opened with me, she showed me an image of her zooming around. Laughing, I tugged on the control sticks. They moved easily, but she didn't budge. At least, not really. In the image, she slowed down at the tug. When I pressed forward, she sped up again. Every turn of the controls had her moving, like a game.

“Good kitty,” Keith chuckled. “It’s time to stop, though, I don't want Lance making fun of me.” Slowly, the image of the Red Lion moving faded away, leaving me on Keith's lap.

I turned to him, pointing at his chestplate. “Wed,” I told him.

He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I'm... the Red Paladin.”

I giggled. I knew that! But he needed to know that I knew, so I had told him so. Movement outside the cockpit startled me and I twisted towards it, ears perked. A huff escaped Keith, but I didn't pay it much mind. I clambered down his legs and wandered for the entrance. The Red Lion caught me before I got three steps away, steering me back into the cockpit. I followed her, throwing a glance back over my shoulder. Keith spun the chair to watch me as I moved about, touching the walls and opening cabinets at the Red Lion's instruction.

By the time the other Paladins were coming in, I'd run out of energy and had returned to Keith. I had settled on his lap with my left cheek resting on his ribcage so that I could listen to his heartbeat. It was fast for a human, but he was Galra too so it was okay. 

Lance choked on a laugh as he saw us. “Aww, Keith, you look good with a baby!”

“He's not a baby, he's a toddler,” Keith growled. He turned to Sugar, ignoring the other paladins as they settled into the Red Lion. “Is it normal for him to speak only one word at a time?”

Sugar picked me up, despite my whines. He patted my back reassuringly. “He spoke to you? I don't think I've ever heard him speak to anyone besides me.”

“He pointed at me and said 'Red’,” Keith said. “Just 'Red’, like I don't know my colors.”

“Ah,” Sugar chuckled, “he was telling you that he knows you're the Red Paladin. He remembers you, at least a little bit.”

“He… what?” Keith blinked, his eyebrows scrunched together.

Lance gasped and cooed. “Aww, Princey, do you remember me?” He waggled his fingers near my face, letting me grab his index finger when I reached out. I hummed in response but said nothing. “You’ll talk to Keith and not me?” the blue paladin pouted. I stuck my tongue out.

“He was left alone with Keith for a few dobashes,” the green paladin pointed out. “He probably needed to talk, at least a little bit. He’ll get used to us all.”

Sugar shifted, his mood dropping sharply even though his smile stayed. “Well, let’s get going,” he said, sitting down in a corner of the cockpit, away from all the others. “Cobalt will want to be put down soon enough.”

No one spoke during the entire trip back to the Castle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here he is...... a baby

“Can you say ‘Lance’?” the blue paladin asked me, his hands on his thighs as he crouched to be eye level with me. “Laaaaaance.”

I only stared at him.

“Give it up, Lance,” the yellow paladin, Hunk, sighed. “He’s not gonna say anyone's name before he’s ready.”

“I just don’t see why he’ll talk to Keith and not me,” Lance grouched. “Do you like Keith more than me, Cobalt?”

I shook my head and picked up the plastic-like Blue Lion toy at my feet, handing it to him. Lance and Keith were different; I liked Lance  _ differently _ than Keith, but not  _ less _ than Keith. Lance was bouncy and energetic, more likely to play with me, while Keith was quiet and reserved, more likely to let me snuggle up against his side and sleep. Hunk was kind and timid, more likely to sneak me little candies. Pidge was curious and sassy, more likely to ask me “yes or no” questions or read her code out loud to me. And Shiro…

Shiro tried his best to be friendly, letting me chew on his metal fingers and answering my nonverbal questions. But he was busy a lot of the time, either helping Princess Allura with whatever she was doing or training with the Gladiator or doing who knew what. He looked so angry sometimes, so  _ scary _ , that I usually avoided being alone with him. He radiated a sort of uneasy aura, a darkness clinging to him that felt unnatural and forced. But he looked so lonely sometimes too, lonely enough that I would climb up onto his lap and just lay my head against his chest, trying to tell him that everything would be okay without speaking or even knowing what was wrong. Sometimes it helped. Usually it didn’t.

“Cobalt,” Lance cooed, pulling my attention back to him, “you’re the tiebreaker. Do you think Allura uses the mice to spy on the paladins? Hunk thinks she does but I think she has way better uses for the mice.”

Allura. She was pretty, she certainly seemed to like being around me, but she always had a guilty aura to her. Sugar glared at her a lot too, so I didn’t see her very often. The mice were basically the size of my palms, except for the biggest who took up both hands, and played with me a lot whenever no one was around.

“Mice,” I said, nodding.

“That answers exactly nothing,” Hunk said.

I smiled and laughed.

 

* * *

 

 

Most of my time was spent with Coran.

The paladins were usually busy training or using their Lions to fight away the bad Galra. Allura either trained with them or trained by herself, honing powers called ‘alchemy’. Sugar spent a lot of time training by himself, though he was sometimes roped into group training. I was too little to train, so I got put in Coran’s care.

“Alright, little one,” he said, snapping me out of my thoughts, “this time the paladins are training their sense of direction! Ah, the princess and Sugar are there too. That’s good! Everyone’s training.”

“Dweshon,” I said importantly.

“Oh, do you have a good sense of direction, Cobalt?” the Altean asked me, tapping buttons to set up the exercise below. “That’s very good! You likely never get lost, right?”

“Good dweshon,” I agreed.

“Alright, everyone!” Coran said into the microphone. “Let’s train your directions!” Walls popped up between the people below, their shouts of surprise making me giggle. “All you have to do is get to the center of the maze! Get there first and you win! This level is easy, so I'm sure you'll all be fine. Watch out for traps!” He turned off the microphone and lifted me up onto his lap, where I could really see the maze in full. “Who do you think will win, Cobalt? Do you think it’ll be… Sugar?”

I giggled and kicked my feet, careful not to hit his kneecaps. He was older, after all, and I didn’t want to hurt him. “No,” I said. “Sheeyo win.”

“Ohh, that’s right, our Black Paladin would be good at directions, wouldn’t he?” Coran said, clapping his hands together. “You’re a very intelligent little cub! I bet you know much more than you let on.”

I nodded and pointed to the maze. “Cowan, yook! Yook yook yook!”

“Oh, we have a winner!” Coran cheered, shaking my arms lightly. “Do you want to announce it?”

“Mhm!” I pressed the button to turn on the microphone. “Sheeyo win!” I said into it. 

“Congratulations, Number One!” Coran announced. “You’ve won the maze! Your prize is choosing the next training activity!”

The groans of the others made me giggle again.

 

* * *

 

“Wanna go too,” I said firmly, pointing at the training deck.

“I don’t really think Sugar would be too happy if you went through the electric maze,” Allura said, having joined Coran and I in the watch deck. 

“Wanna!” I insisted.

She sighed and leaned towards the microphone. “Sugar, would you join me in the observatory deck?”

Within moments Sugar was there. “What is it?” he asked, an odd bite to his voice.

“Cobalt wants to go through the maze,” Coran jumped in, standing up and holding me under the armpits. “We wanted to make sure you were okay with it before telling him yes or no. Don’t want to stifle his development, after all!”

“Oh.” Sugar reached over and took me from the Altean man, putting me on the ground and crouching down in front of me. “You really want to go through the maze?” he checked.

“Wanna!” I patted his cheeks with all the confidence a five year old could muster. “Will be otay. Pwomise.”

“Okay then,” he said. “You can go through it. But you have to listen to any directions you’re given, or else you get a bad shock. Understand?”

“Un’stand,” I nodded. 

“That’s that, then.” Sugar stood up and scooped me into his arms. “He can go through the maze. Just turn down the shocks, humans are very sensitive to electricity.”

Getting my way so easily was… strange. I was too excited about it to really mind, though, and after all of the paladins went it was my turn. I fitted the headset on carefully, so that it wouldn’t fall off, and waited at the beginning of the maze impatiently.

“Take a step forward so that I can get an idea of how far you walk.” Pidge’s voice filtered through the headset. I cooed in delight and took a step forward excitedly. “Okay, good. Take seven steps forward now.”

The maze was simple as long as I listened to Pidge’s instructions. Once or twice she led me into a dead-end, but she never let me get shocked. Since I didn’t know left and right, I would just turn in a circle until she told me to stop. As we went on, I found that I was understanding my directions a little better. Left was my fake arm. Right was my fake eye. When I finally,  _ finally _ , reached the other side of the training deck, Pidge congratulated me on making it through and took the maze down.

“Good job, little guy,” she said, “you made it through! You listen way better than Lance.” A faint  _ “hey!” _ came through the speakers. “Well, it’s true,” she shot back. 

Not really wanting to listen any more, I took the headset off and placed it very carefully on the rack with the other headsets. I couldn’t reach up high enough, but climbing up was easy- the rack was stuck firmly to the wall, so it didn’t tip over even with me on it. As I put my feet firmly back on the ground, another energy washed over me. Calmer than the Red Lion but no less fierce, the Blue Lion’s energy had the adaptability of the ocean and the unrelenting strength of a riptide. A confidence in identity, masculine without fear of femininity. The Blue Lion’s touch against my mind was gentle and patient, unlike the near-crushing grip of the Red Lion. 

The Blue Lion’s pride filled my heart, a soft rumble of a purr ringing in my ears. He pulled back slowly, taking his time to glance through my memories. All the while, I stood there and let him. He left the strangely shrouded memories alone, as I did, and merely went through the ones that seemed interesting like the electric net. When he finally left, I found myself sitting on the ground against the wall with my legs tucked under me. Sugar was crouched in front of me, looking worried. I smiled brightly to reassure him.

“What happened, Cobalt?” he asked me, trying to mask his worry; it crept through our bond anyway, and I batted it away in annoyance.

“Tawk,” I said.

“Who did you talk to?” he asked. He sat down with his legs crossed, leaning forward to put his head in his hands. At the far wall, the paladins watched with varying degrees of interest and concern.

“Boo.” For emphasis, I tugged at my hair. “Boo tawk. Nice yiyan.”

“The Blue Lion touched your mind?” I looked up and saw Princess Allura there- had she always been there? I’d been too focused on Sugar and the paladins. “What did he say?” She crouched down too, a friendly smile on her face. It didn’t hide the way her eyebrows creased together in worry. Sugar’s aggravation with her needled me but I brushed that away too.

“No tawk,” I said, fiddling with my fingers. “Feeying. Pwide.”

“Ah,” the princess said, smiling. “The Blue Lion was proud of you and let you know. In a feeling?”

“Yes.” Bored of the conversation, since Allura was just repeating what I said, I stood up. “Sugah, up?”

Sugar heaved a sigh but smiled anyway, picking me up and tucking me against his shoulder. “Are you hungry, Cobalt?”

“No,” I said, fisting my hands in his hair. “Tiwed.”

“Then take a nap,” he crooned, a deep rumble coming from his throat. It was a deeper purr than the Blue Lion but much more familiar and soothing. Closing my eyes and focusing sharply, I drifted to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who got hyped up on the idea of empire!cobalt and started writing a fic for it........ me  
> sorry for lack of updates im trying not to rush through this part of the story but its Hard because my brain is screaming "GET TO THE ACTION"
> 
> sorry this chapter is short, the next section is a little messy and i need to edit it :/

“What is Cobalt doing?” Allura asked, standing at the doorway of what Lance called the ‘lounge’. Her eyes were fixated on me, boring into my back, but I paid her no mind. With my knees tucked into my sides, my feet tucked under my hips, and my hands tucked under my shoulders, I kept my eyes fixed on my prize.

“Hunting,” Sugar answered. His voice was a little bit cold; there was still something going on between him and the princess. “It’s good for him.”

“He is a predatory species?” Was her voice a little tense? “I was under the impression that humans are omnivorous and do not hunt.”

“Cobalt is primarily carnivorous though he is capable of eating plant matter,” Sugar said. “He hunts because it is his instinct.”

“I see… should I purchase meats for him?” Yes, she definitely sounded tense. I lowered further into my crouch, not turning my head from the target.

A hesitation from Sugar. “No. Eating plant matter only is not healthy for him but the thought clearly makes you uncomfortable. I will handle the purchase and storage of meat with Hunk. Are you herbivorous?”

“Alteans are herbivorous, yes. Eating animals is… disgusting.” Her voice betrayed the shudder that went through her. Tensing my muscles, I sprang through the air and landed on the stuffed toy. It looked like a rabbit, if rabbits had their eyes on stalks like a snail, six legs, and a monkey tail. Digging my nails in and biting down on its neck, I crushed it beneath my weight and twisted my head, which would have snapped its neck if it were real.

Rolling over to put it above me, I gripped the rabbit’s front legs, sinking my nails into its chest, and raked its back with my feet while shaking my head from side to side with a death grip on its neck.

“Okay, let it go, Cobalt,” Sugar said, reaching over and taking hold on the toy. “You can’t destroy it the way you did with the toys the Blade gave you.” Pouting, I released the rabbit and sat up. “I’ll fix whatever damage Cobalt did and wash it,” he said absently. “Okay, Allura?”

“I- yes, that’s alright.” She looked like she was going to faint, her dark skin seeming to have greyed a little bit. The blue marks under her eyes didn’t glow either. “That is… normal?”

“Mostly, yes. That was more of a combat maneuver at the end, flipping his enemy above him upside down. That way they can’t get his belly.” A strange pleasure emanated from Sugar, like making Allura uncomfortable made him happy. “Oh. I might not be able to give this back after all.”

“And why would that be?” She hid her shaking hands behind her back.

“He bit down too hard, released some venom,” Sugar explained. “It melted some of the stuffing inside. Cobalt, what did I tell you about using your venom on toys?”

I crossed my arms and looked away. It was  _ fun _ to use my venom! What did it matter? It was just a toy.

“Venom?” Allura edged away. “Do all humans have venom?”

“No, just Cobalt,” Sugar shrugged. “You only need to worry if he bites you hard enough to draw blood, and he knows not to bite people. That’s why we use toys when he practices hunting, so that he can use his teeth.”

“Interesting. Well, please excuse me, I must go check on Coran.” She left in a hurry, nearly running. Did I scare her?

Sugar snorted in amusement. “Prey species.” When he caught sight of my frown, he scowled. “Cobalt…” He rolled his eyes when I didn’t relent and picked me up, bouncing me slightly. “Alright, alright, I won’t scare her. Geez, you pack-bond so easily like that…”

His annoyance pricked at my heart.


End file.
